A hidden silence – side effect of hearing loss
I was having dinner with my family in a busy, noisy restaurant last Saturday. While we were enjoying the Peking duck, I noticed a man in his early 70s sitting at a table across from us. He and his friends had just finished eating and everyone seemed to be catching up the latest news. His friends looked satisfied and relaxed after their meal. They seemed like a fun group, with everyone engaged in enthusiastic conversation. Someone would say something to the whole table and the rest would smile and nodding their heads in agreement. However, while everyone else interacted, that older gentleman sat with his back straight, his hands clasped at the edge of the round table, and his eyes stared blankly ahead. He seemed neither happy nor sad, just resigned.
What was wrong with him? Was he sick? Was he anti-social? Why didn’t he participate? Why did he choose to be alone and “voiceless”? The answer of these questions was given away by one external clue – the hearing aid he wore on each ear.
He looked relieved when everyone decided that it was time to go home. He rose slowly but determinedly from his chair and put on his coat. I am sure this was what he was thinking: “Finally! It’s over!”
How could I be so sure what the man was thinking, you may ask. It’s because I am one of every four Canadians who, like him, live with hearing loss.
When I was one year old, I was seriously ill and was hospitalized for nine months. The illness passed but it extracted a price that was not detected until I was 30 years old – a serious hearing loss that greatly affected my ability to communicate. When I was in my elementary school, I often teased by my classmates as “tongue-tied” or for speaking Cantonese, my mother-tongue, with a funny accent – missed clue number 1! When I was very young, I consistently missed answering our doorbell – high pitched and weak in volume. I only started answering the door when my brother gave up using the doorbell and began pounding his fist on the metal gate (yes, I could hear that quite well as the banging sound is low in frequency and loud in volume). When I was nine, my brother actually diagnosed me though not very pleasantly: he got so frustrated and called me “deaf woman” – missed clue number 2!
Why was I mercilessly teased for being tongue tied? Why did my school mates and adults laugh at my mispronunciation, even though I was speaking in my own mother tongue? Did they not have empathy? Why didn’t his family or friends try to talk to the older gentleman during dinner? Did they not love or care about him? No! No! No!
The reason, I believe, is lack of awareness and awareness is the foundation of understanding and support. When friends and colleagues understand that people with hearing loss can’t hear normal conversation in a noisy environment, they are more inclined to accommodate their particular needs. Instead of talking loudly or yelling, they would opt to face the person they are speaking to, to repeat and rephrase as necessary and to modify the surroundings to maximize hearing ability.
Instead of resigning him or herself to alienation, the person with the hearing loss can adopt a more proactive approach by informing others of their condition, giving specifics of what they have or have not heard, by confirming what they heard and by requesting clarification as necessary.
So, the next time you speak to someone who seems to be “lost in transmission,” try to speak clearly, reduce background noise and be supportive. Along with a friendly smile and sense of humour, it can make a big difference.
15 thoughts on “A hidden silence – side effect of hearing loss”
Wow, thank you for that.
Having a hearing loss is not just is not just a simple physical problem, but a communication barrier that can strongly affect our relationship with others. Poor hearing senses can lead to misunderstanding or miscommunication. Early detection can be the best cure to avoid it. Remember, having a good hearing sense may lead to a better communication and healthy relationship.
Hearing loss is a physical problem that can affect your social life and even your emotional status. Without hearing you can’t hear what you want to hear and you can’t express what you want to tell the world. Still, there is still a possible way to make your hearing back and that is by using hearing aids. Better have an early check up for your hearing to know whether you have the possibility to acquire this issue.
I want to make up a small card that I could hand people to clue them into how they can help me hear what they are saying….i.e. Please no whispering! is there such a thing available? I am on the young side of needing hearing aids at 50 so people are often unaware of my hearing loss.
Hearing loss affects millions of people all over the world. Impairments occur for a variety of reasons, and can affect a person in ways they would never expect. Hearing impairment is no joke. With these serious side effects, it is important to determine the degree and type of the loss, and your options for treatment as soon as possible.
Thank you for this. My son is 5, was identified as a newborn, but getting people to understand his particular communication needs is still a struggle.
Hi Jennifer, thank you for your message. I feel for your son as I have profound hearing loss since I was one year old but was not aware of my hearing problems until late 20s. In retrospect, what helped me the most was to discover that I had hearing loss and proceeded to seeking professional help from there on. I’ve benefited from attending communication strategies classes(offered by Canadian Hearing Society) and speech therapy lessons. Through my classes, I regained my confidence and stopped feeling guilty when I couldn’t hear when people talked to me. I also learned to be assertive but not aggressive. I’m still coping with my hearing loss but I am more confident as I practising my communication strategies each day.
All the best with your son.
We actually have cards like that at CHS – we call it the “CommuniCard.” You can contact us at http://www.chs.ca.
There may be certain reasons like the age, illness or genetics may contribute to hearing loss problem. It is not sure that hearing loss can be genetic but it can occur at any stage even from childhood. There are several ear-damaging elements including some medications and plenty of sources of loud, continuous noise that contribute to hearing loss causes.
This is a great article, and it brings up some of the interesting challenges that the hard of hearing can face on a daily basis. My grandmother has had hearing aids in Toronto (http://www.torontohearingservices.com) for years, and they’ve been a big help to her. I definitely feel for your sons, since hearing loss is something that can happen at any age.
Hearing loss is characterized by the inability to hear sounds coming from the environment. Studies say that 1 in 10 people are affected by hearing loss of different degrees. The degree of hearing loss means the extent of damage. It can range from mild to profound, and can be helped by the use of devices designed to enhance a person’s ability to hear.
Hello,
Im 23 year old ,male… Im having my hearing loss since i was 18 years old i think but i couldn’t realized it… when i was 20 years old i joined merchent navy cadet programme… then most of my friends told i cant hear when they call my name some times… i also experienced my hearing loss.. when my friends get together they tell stories, laugh and enjoy moments , but me .. im also there but i don’t know i cant feel any confidence in talking much .. i remain silence most of the times.. just smile when they smile 🙁 …. my ex also said im having a abnormal behavior sometims.. i even didn’t told her im having a hearing loss becoz maybe she’ll go away from me… but at last she did and also at last i told her im having this issue but its too late .. im losing my confidence day by day …. lots of girls are willing to talk with me but i don’t talk with them becoz they’ll think im a some kind of freak like my ex did …. im having a hearing aid for one ear but i should put aids for both ears .. but i cant .. how can i wear aid for both of my ears people will laugh at me … i don’t know what to do im lost of my confidence …. sometimes when i talk with some one my words are not clear to them or somekind of my speaking problem .. i think thats a side effect of my hearing loss… 🙁
My in-laws are both profoundly deaf. They wear hearing aids, which allows them to hear a little bit. Especially loud noises and high frequency sounds. But I know for some people, hearing aids can really improve their quality of life.
Mark Leach | http://www.ent-drs.com/services.aspx
You’re right, awareness is the foundation for understanding and support. My father made the decision to get hearing aids yesterday. I couldn’t be more excited for him. He thinks they will age him, but I know that over all, he’ll be grateful he got them. I want to be as understanding and supportive as I can during this time for him. I can’t wait for him to engage with us more in conversation. http://www.vividhearing.com.au/contact/
Choosing the right hearing aid is not easy, but it is very important that you are motivated to wear one.
We emphasize that for proper functioning and vitality of the brain it is absolutely necessary to wear a hearing aid if needed.
Elderly people who do not hear well cannot look vital, no matter how much they take account of their personal appearance. People talking to hard-hearing persons soon notice that the latter do not hear them, and this can quickly effect the picture they have about them.
Therefore do not avoid to wear a hearing aid thinking it makes you look older, because this will exactly be the case if you do NOT wear one.
Before your physician prescribes you a hearing aid, a complete ENT examination has to be carried out, followed by timpanometry with reflexometry and hearing examination, so-called Tonal Liminar Audiometry.