Writer in Residence - David Young

A Study Room of My Own – By Ana Lorena Leija

A big library table, with three or four thick books opened in different pages, a notebook, pen, markers and a computer. Nino is nicely dressed, handsome man in his late thirties. Talking to the audience.

NINO: I’ve been coming here for a week now, and I’m planning to keep coming for another week. I come every day because I’m preparing for an interview, a new job in the pharmaceutical industry. I do have an MBA, believe it or not. But what I’ve got so far hasn’t been great. A couple of odd jobs on the outskirts of the city, and the commuting is just killing me. Also… (he hesitates) well, I haven’t been able to stay in the same job for a long time because we have been travelling. My wife and I, we have been travelling a lot in the last couple of years, unfortunately mainly for sad reasons. Last year… She’s not from Canada so… she needs to travel a lot, to see her family and stuff. She comes from a traditional family, everybody is very close, they love each other. So she finds it difficult to be here. I sometimes find it difficult too. When I was a boy, my mother used to send us back to Italy to see our grandparen'ts, so that we spend some time with them. A lot of my good childhood memories didn’t happen in Canada… I do feel like a Canadian, though. Anyway, when I see her suffering and feeling so lonely, I just can’t say no. So a lot of our money has vanished in airplane fares. And we were trying to save money for a house after we got married, but boy!, houses are just so expensive. And they are not even that beautiful. We just can’t afford them! (Pause) She doesn’t like that. I don’t like it either, but I’m ok renting for the moment. (Beat) I love her so much, you should meet her, she is absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful hazel eyes, wonderful smile… although she gets so depressed sometimes; I think she misses the sun, especially in November, well, in winter. Anyway, last year everything just got messed up… ehmmm… her brother died, and it was like a super shock for her. We went there and she was in pain, deep pain. She didn’t want to come back here. She stayed longer, I came back. I found another job and tried to be supportive. Eventually she came back, but this time it was definitive, she really doesn’t want to stay here. She wants me to go back with her and find a job there. But I’m not sure I want to do that. I mean, I like her country very much, it’s another culture, they are extremely friendly and kind people. And… you know how it works in some countries, everything is through connections and her family has connections, so there might be a job for me, for sure. It’s just that I still don’t know. (Beat) I feel she wants me to hate Toronto the way she does. And I simply don’t. There are a lot of problems in this city, don’t get me wrong. I know there are a lot of problems but… I know how it works here, I like a lot of things. (Beat) I would definitely miss hockey… I love her, I want to have kids with her, a family, maybe that will make her happy, but she wants us to move. And I don’t know what to say, I can’t seem to convince her otherwise.

So I’m preparing for this interview, it seems like a good opportunity but my head is asking in the background: what for? Here, I can concentrate. At home I wouldn’t have the space, you know. Here, all the manuals are up to date, and if I need to know a technical term, I can look it up right away. (shyly) Well, I use Wikipedia too, but this environment works for me, it’s a working environment. I don’t know what will happen afterwards, but in the mean time, I’ll keep coming to the library from 10 in the morning to 7 at night. It’s a nice way to study. It’s soothing. And it gives me a break from all these questions… but I do love her, I do.

This monologue is reprinted with permission from the author. It was performed at the Toronto Reference Library as part of David Young's Writer-in-Residence workshop program, on November 30, 2011.