I am J
By Cris Beam (2011)
J had always felt different. He was certain that eventually everyone would understand who he really was: a boy mistakenly born as a girl. Yet as he grew up, his body began to betray him; eventually J stopped praying to wake up a “real boy” and started covering up his body, keeping himself invisible — from his paren'ts, from his friends, from the world. But after being deserted by the best friend he thought would always be by his side, J decides that he’s done hiding — it’s time to be who he really is. And this time he is determined not to give up, no matter the cost.
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2 thoughts on “I am J”
I am J by Cris Beam was a delightful read that I thoroughly enjoyed. Not only is it well written but it holds a greater message, one that many are afraid to address. Although I cannot personally relate to the struggles as a transgender teen, this novel has opened my eyes to a hidden secret that our society feels that we need to hide. The book follows Jani a transgendered male (female to male) as he struggles to convince not only his family and peers but also himself that it’s okay to be different and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. This book has a very dark tone and vibe but slowly, as we get to know more about J, we can join him on his journey to become the person and the gender he really wants and was born to be. Until I picked up this book, I had no idea how strong and great this problem was and how much it affected people. Reading this book has made me so much more of an understanding person and I feel as if I grew alongside J. This book really kept me turning pages and I loved it from the beginning to the end. Although the ending is the most personally satisfying, I felt as if it was very realistic because life does not always go the way we plan it which is a moral in itself. Overall, this book is one that I recommend to lovers of all genres because there is just so much you can’take out of it and is truly something that I think if everybody would read, our world would be a better place.
I am J was beautifully real. It made my heart swell with love for J, the main character, and all the people who struggle like him. The author wrote his story in a way that I think does justice to the transgendered community because she didn’t sugar-coat J’s struggles, confusion, or feelings of self-hate. That being said, this novel was quite serious. While I can’t think of any reason not to like I am J, people wanting light summer reads should save this for another time. I also want to warn potential readers that J is definitely an anti-hero and he got on my nerves more than once. I think that one of the reasons why this book was written is to teach patience to people. As I learned to tolerate J and truly understand why he acted the way he acted, J learned that maybe he should change his attitude as well as his body. This book is on my top ten reads this summer, and is one of the very best in its section here.