Audition Listings

Abby Brewster

(Female 55-70 years old) The very model of Victorian charm and grace, who poisons elderly gentlemen, with her sister as an act of charity. She and her sister Martha seem to be the absolute embodiment of the values and polite society of a bygone age.  More dominant, and a bit older than Martha​, both ladies are happy, healthy, lucid, and spry.  

Martha Brewster

(Female 55-70 years old) Very sweet, but more submissive than Abby, Martha still is a strong woman.  She and her sister have lived together for many, many years.  Their personalities and pecking order around each other have been firmly rooted for eons.  Always wears a high collar. 

Elaine Harper

(Female 25-40 years old) An Attractive young lady, daughter of Rev. Dr. Harper, and Mortimer’s fiancée.  She is surprisingly wise,sassy and very sharp.Huge range of emotions required!

Mortimer Brewster

(Male 30- mid 40’s) Nephew of Abby and Martha, brother to both Teddy and Jonathan Brewster.  Very likable, Mortimer is a drama critic who is in love with & engaged to Elaine Harper. A good-hearted cynic who is about to have his world turned upside down. PHYSICAL ROLE.

Special Note​:  The actor who plays this role must be comfortable to utterly “LET GO.”  Mortimer controls the show.  Physical comedy, perfection of timing in dialogue delivery, likability in presence, and an ability to display agility in navigating the rapidly changing circumstances of each scene, is absolutely necessary.  

Teddy Brewster

(25-35 years old) Very likable, kind-hearted, delusional brother to Mortimer and Jonathan, Nephew of Abby and Martha Brewster, Teddy is a man who believes that he is the 26th U.S.President, Theodore Roosevelt.  Extreme dedication and energy is necessary while charging up a flight of stairs and screaming “CHARGE!”  PHYSICAL ROLE.

Jonathan Brewster

(Indeterminate age)

Nephew of Abby and Martha Brewster, brother to Teddy and Mortimer.  Jonathan is a psychopath who has numerous murders to his credit and no scruples whatsoever.  He is creepy!! Jonathan is a killer, that loves his business and he’s got an unbelievably short temper.  Dr. Einstein has changed Jonathan’s face three times, currently resulting in a Boris Karloff resemblance (to which he is a bit sensitive.) Some PHYSICAL work. 

Dr. Einstein

(Any Age) German plastic surgeon, with an accent to prove it.  Right hand to Jonathan, Dr. Einstein is mysterious and submissive to Jonathan.  Einstein should be viewed as a good guy whose life has gone bad.  The audience truly has to sympathize with this guy. With somewhat of a ratty appearance, his face wears the benevolent smirk of a man who lives in a pleasant haze of alcohol. 

The Reverend Dr. Harper

(55-70 years old) We only see Elaine Harper’s father in the opening scene; a doctor of divinity, and the minister to the church next door to the Brewster house. 

Mr. Gibbs

(60-80 years old) An elderly gentleman who wishes to rent a room from the Brewster sisters; and nearly falls victim to the sisters “charity”. He is a little gruff, but he warms up fairly quickly upon being offered a treat he hasn’t had since he was a child.  

Lieutenant Rooney

(Late 40’s- early 60’s) The man in charge at the local police precinct.  Very early in the show we gain a pretty strong understanding of the caliber of men he has to manage under his watch. He has very little patience for blunder and mistakes, and needs to run a pretty tight ship. He is loud, decisive, and clearly in-charge of every situation in which he finds himself. 

Mr. Witherspoon

(60’s) The superintendent of Happy Dale Sanitarium. Very mild mannered and kind.

Officer Brophy

(25-45 years old)                                                                                                       The first police officer we meet in the show, Brophy is a thoroughly likable sort of fellow. Is making his rounds collecting Christmas toys for the needy. Some PHYSICAL work. 

Officer Klein

(25-45 years old male or female)                                                                                          A flatfooted Brooklyn officer who makes his/her rounds with Officer Brophy collecting Christmas toys.  

Officer O’Hara

(any age male or female)                                                                                              He/she is the quintessential example of an Irish-American police officer:  Full of life, good natured and played big.  He/she is on very good terms with the Aunts.  O’Hara is a would-be playwright, and needs to plainly display the nagging, persistent drive that’s kindled within him/her once he discovers that Mortimer is a famous dramatic critic. Well intentioned, O’Hara really doesn’t mean to come across as annoying as he/she does.