The Opposite of a Fairy Godmother
Ken had a
good day at school. He stole five nerds’ lunch money, pushed a freshman into
the garbage can and slapped that annoying tenth grader Bobby when he tried to
hold a conversation. It was a pretty good day until he got home.
“Who the
hell are you?” he cried as she stepped through the front door. A five year old
girl dressed in black, was standing in his living room.
“I’m a
witch,” the weird girl said. “Ida. My name is Ida and I’m going to curse
yoooooou!”
She giggled.
Ken stared.
“Kid, you’ve
gotta GET OUT!” He roared the last part. He turned around for a second to grab
an umbrella, intending to use it as a weapon. But when he turned around, the
girl was gone.
Ken didn’t
think much about Ida that night as he ignored his homework while killing
non-existing zombies on his Xbox. The next day however, the little girl’s voice
returned, giggling away in his ear. He watched all the nerds eat their usual
lunches that consisted of expired milk and spoiled tuna sandwich while the
ninth graders headed out on a field trip. Ken saw Bobby with a group of Bobby
look-alikes. No matter how much he
wanted to, Ken found himself unable to steal, shove, kick, punch or bully
anyone.
“That’s it!”
he cried as he got home, completely frustrated, slamming the door behind him.
“Kid, come on out! I know it’s your fault!”
“It’s Ida!”
Ida said, materializing next to the coat rack, “Duh! Of course, It is my fault.
I’m a witch and that makes it my job to curse people who do bad things.”
“Aaargh!”
Ken pulled at his hair. “Well congrats. You made my day miserable. Are you done
now?”
“Nope.” Ida
replied cheekily. “I have to place a BIG curse! Like a sixth toe? No, no, no
hold on. How about a third eye? I want a third eye!”
“I don’t
care what you do, just get it over with,” Ken told her, bracing himself for the
worst. “And leave. me. alone.”
He closed
his two eyes, sincerely hoping he wouldn’t have to open three.
After a few
moments he opened his two eyes. No third eye. No sixth toe. No second nose or
triangle head or pointy finger. No witchy woo woo. Ida was gone, yet nothing
changed. Ken didn’t like it, uneasiness leading to a massive headache. He was
sure that Ida did something to him.
He could feel it.
That little
bugger.
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